~Start The Count - 126 Days Left ~

Today They ask me go for apartment-stay on 24/7 Saturday.

I so wish I can go. but i have to work-hard every single day. Every moment counts. I cannot loose my hand as the consequences is very terrible.

Even though they are right : Just come out for 1 day, that won't waste much of time right ?
We can only go out now or after 4 months (after STPM) .


yea.. indeed it won't hurt much to me.
But..

I really can't go out anymore. My mum said to me if i could not enter University... all hope is gone.. your family cannot afford you to study College. You are on your own.

If I couldn't enter Uni... I'm a nothing to all my relatives and friends. All my brother's result were top, and mine is the worst among them. My big brother was top, my second brother was top too. my third brother enter U.Just me...


I feel so hard...
don't know what to do. I wish I can go apartment stay with them but my mum insist me to stay.


You all have the very big chance to enter U already. Top in class... another 1 is half way already. Another 2 can afford themselves to overseas. I cant ! If i fail... I have no future anymore damn it....


I'm sorry....

~ Why ? ~

I moody.. really.... no body understand the reason when i told anyone of you.. so what for I telling you all the problem or share to you all ?
You just don't understand !

Now.. only 1 person who is totally understand why I'm so moody all the time. He meets the problem as well.. But just a small part similar to mine...

Really no one understand me... Why... ?

perhaps.. is me the one not understandable for you all....

~ Slap Me ! ! ~

If anyone here thinks that I have been so annoying or so moody... 

Well.. all you have to do .. is just raise up your hand.. then at all of your force.. Take a Big Slap on my face. I will not fight back. 

If I have been always like that.. well.. no need to call me out also.. Is good for all sides.. You all no need see my stupid face and i no need to show my ugly face to you all.. spoil your mood that day. 


Ok ?

~Busy Life Still on Going~

Hm... i wondering why... I'm so busy lately... I'm like.... every moment has its own purpose to spent.

My aunt was sick last week... i should be at KL last 2 week. But due to my greed of fun with my friend. I wasted my time here in Penang. 1 week time.

But when I get KL and meet with my aunt. I have 2 feelings come to me at the same time. First was, i feeling great as my aunt has already recover from her illness.. Second was my brother.
I just learn that my brother is an ASSHOLE. My aunt was sick, but he not just didn't help her clean the house but also pass all the ironing job to my aunt. She was sick ! God damn it !
Ironing the shirt, buy your own lunch, and going to work ... all these just simple things but he still insist my aunt to do all these for him.

A General Manager for the most popular Clinic Mediviron in the Entire KL is ironing all the shirts for a small tiny Human Resource Manager. All these make sense ??
Hope he will learn afterwards that my aunt will not going to help him do all these. because i tell my aunt to be so CRUEL. ^^
am i Cruel enough ? or i want to help him ? who knows ? Only i know ^^

~Relay for Life ~

Relay for Life

On 5th n 6th of June this event was.
Well.. I actually didn't plan to participate this event at all..
for GOD sake. Why would someone participate this boring event at the 1st day of your holiday. Would you ?

Well.. my very 1st thought is : No... I'm not going.. is for Cancer ... I'm not having cancer .there are not relation between me with cancer.

On the other hand. I rejected this thought.
My inner voice tells me: Yes.. even though it didn't related Directly to you, but to your surrounding and life. 
My 2nd grandma was a cancer patient and she died of the pain of cancer. I cannot imagine the pain inside my stomach. She died on 26/10/2007. I could still remember.
My good friend, Gabriel Seow was also a cancer patient- Blood Cancer.

He has been through a hard time but still he cannot make it through his birthday and Christmas.  He died 2 days after 2009 SUKMA finished.. He died after my competition was finish. 7/12/2009. I could still remember...

Thats the two reason why i participate Relay for Life.

My classmates join too. I also need to thank them for joining in as a same team.

These are my School and Classmates ~

Hope I'm still around when next Relay for Life is coming

~ Tormented SouL ~

There is no one can lend a hand;
          Not even my dearest friend.

It feels like my heart, been tear apart;
          It feels like nothing to hold, my shapeless soul.

Now I'm Lost, In the dark and chilling night;
        Many came across, but none was my Knight.

No Where for me to hide, not even the raising Tide;
       no way to avoid, away from this cold void.

My worry, still in my memory;
     no one hear my voice, amng all the noise.
        
But i know, that my soul , will be rescued one day
       When the Skies are brights and stars are array...

~ Haunted Once More ~

Oh ...no.. my heart... pain again... argh ....

The pain come back to haunt me.. why...?

Can't sleep well.. I only can rest my mind after few hours of pain in the cold, chilling night...like a man loses his heart in the sea.... Helpless... 

There will be no answer for this pain ... Only silence and void... be the answer for my torment ...

~End of Torment ,Begin of Joy~

Finally, here comes to the end of these 3 weeks of torment...

coming up would be my STPM Trail , well , don ask what i feel.. i just gonna asnwer : No comment.

Just lend Chee Yeap : Call of Duty 4 n 6.  haiz.. hope u can upgrade yourself in time la. haha

2 weeks of holiday.. is my time to release my stress again.. but not for long for sure as time do not allow me to do so.
Long rest leads to laziness and failure.. I cannot rest for too long.

Must keep my mind on guard all the time.



Yeah ! New Phone ! I got 2 phone with 1 same number...

Nokia 5800 and my SE K700. wo hoo.. i cant use them when ever i like .. ^^ keke.. lots of function than K700 for sure.
Lets get started !