I'm tired of struggle for everything...
I'm tired of fighting for somethings...
I'm tired of been trick....
I'm tired of falling in hopeless love...
I'm tired creating hope for my friends...
I'm tired of trusting everything , everyone...
I'm so tired.... of Everything...
So wish i could find a place... lay down and rest forever... don't want to wake up anymore...
Friday, November 27, 2009
~ I Changed ... Did I ? ~
Last few days.. i went to Tar College to meet my NS friends... afterwards .. i met with an old friend.. she still remember me, and i still remember her. ( this call got heart, still remember friend)
After some chit chat... my NS friend ask why don my old friend and chat anything ? She said that i have changed... different since last time we meet... i just keep quite...
I changed.... Am I ? Have I ? Did I ? I don't remember how i changed... Some said... i have changed to Silent, i seldom talk anymore... not like last time... Some said .. i wanna act cool, don't like to talk.... Some also said.... last time i got problems, i tell anyone, now i keep to myself...
Am i ?
I also don't know...
After some chit chat... my NS friend ask why don my old friend and chat anything ? She said that i have changed... different since last time we meet... i just keep quite...
I changed.... Am I ? Have I ? Did I ? I don't remember how i changed... Some said... i have changed to Silent, i seldom talk anymore... not like last time... Some said .. i wanna act cool, don't like to talk.... Some also said.... last time i got problems, i tell anyone, now i keep to myself...
Am i ?
I also don't know...
Fencing Competition~ Just Around the Corner !! Arh !!!
Suddenly i feel so scare .... I love fencing.. but i really don't know the reason why i scared... = =|||
I looking forward to compete in Foil... but they put me in Epee (heavy sword class).... oh god... i dont know i can handle it or not.. Because i only see people sparing in the Youtube... i never see the real sparing and training progress in the centre. Ee..... i'm so scared...
They have change the Venue and Date of competition. Last time, it was in Queensbay Mall on 2nd and 3rd of December. But now has changed to 5th and 6th of December, Saturday and Sunday. Venue... somewhere in Balik Pulau.. oh no.. please changed back to Queensbay, If you guys change it to Balik Pulau, many people feel it is too far away and won't come to support.... Please change back la...
1st of december i going to take my equipment and my sword ^^ (of course , all these burrow from them)
Well guys... wish me luck ^^ ( i'm still so nervous)
I looking forward to compete in Foil... but they put me in Epee (heavy sword class).... oh god... i dont know i can handle it or not.. Because i only see people sparing in the Youtube... i never see the real sparing and training progress in the centre. Ee..... i'm so scared...
They have change the Venue and Date of competition. Last time, it was in Queensbay Mall on 2nd and 3rd of December. But now has changed to 5th and 6th of December, Saturday and Sunday. Venue... somewhere in Balik Pulau.. oh no.. please changed back to Queensbay, If you guys change it to Balik Pulau, many people feel it is too far away and won't come to support.... Please change back la...
1st of december i going to take my equipment and my sword ^^ (of course , all these burrow from them)
Well guys... wish me luck ^^ ( i'm still so nervous)
Monday, November 16, 2009
Me... 1 person... 1 world... Different status....Alone
Wow... exam had just finish on 11/11/09. Chung Hwa Confucian just started to have theirs. hehe..
Next day.. Thursday... i rush back to Kuala Lumpur. i meet with my Dad... then go have dinner together.. is has been a long time since i had my dinner with my dad. Indeed... it has been a very long time ago. then he fetch me to my aunty's place... i meet up with my 3rd brother and my mum. 3rd brother... it also a long time since i last saw him..
that night... i step into my aunt's house... they couldn't recogize me. they said that i have grow much thin than last time. i look more alike to my 2nd brother now... perhaps they are right...perhaps...
Time passed so fast... and the clock pointing 11pm... my mum and brother starting to get tired... brother still have to go to school the next day...so we left to Cheras...
2nd day just passed like that... i have done nothing but just had dinner with my Aunt , brother, mother at T.G.I Friday. Our dinner just so "cheap" RM183. So did on the 3rd day... again we took our dinner at 1Utama SuShi Groove, 3person without my brother, RM 170++. After that we stay over night at my aunt's new house. She said the new house actually is for his son / my cousin / a Docter Rate Lecturer in KL Inti. Since he is going to moved away with his wife to another place. So this house is for me during my time in University. Not a house actually, is a Condominium. my aunt bought it for about RM600K. God.. price of 1 Mercedes.
At KL.. there are no one who don't know Clinic Mediviron. The only clinic which has open more than 67 outlet until now, today.Even our 6th Prime Minister-Najib's maid and servant come to our clinic for medical treatment, this also include his own wife. For that , i am so proud when i'm was a kid, go to the main branch every weekend. Even now, all the accountant, all the staff, nurses know who am i. Even all the doctors know who am i. If they don't know, i just have to tell them :"I'm Ms.Lim's nephew." Any one learn about chinese drawing... will know of my father. If they don't know about my father, they don't really know much about chinese art.
In KL, i live with all the high status people, like i'm one of them. Everything i spent are more than just enough.
But, i live KL, my life is just like a prison. i have no freedom, even the shopping mall is just less than 2 km away... but i don't feel like i want to go there. I have no body but just my family and the newborn 10 month young little niece.
In Penang, the only high status person, is a MCA agent. Other than that, just 2 Navy Officers. I'm have nothing I do all the things alone. Even i stay with my eldest brother and 2nd brother, but .. i'm still alone. 2nd brother comes home once in a while. Left me n Big brother in this house. 1 house, 2 people, 2 different world. We seldom talks to each others. We don't really have much to talk about, thats why, i keep so silent everytime i go out. I live alone, i go to school alone, i eat alone, i sleep alone, i think alone, I WALK alone... like always...
Friends is with me all the time ... stay with me ..makes me happy, encourage me, cheer me, share anything with me, makes my life wonderful, colorful. I cannot live without friends by my side. As my world i'm living so cold... so alone in the winter.
In this big plant Earth... What a world... but there is only 1 world, 1 Me, in 1 Malaysia, 2 different state... there is different status in me:
A good living background in KL, nothing to worry, no worries on expensense, there will be driver for me wherever i wanna go. Every meal i gonna eat is more than RM60+. Every thing i wear is gonna be branded.
A life like hell in Penang. struggle to work... struggle to gain my own money... spend only RM5 for each meal... save more for any important usage... worry about almost everything.... feel so unsafe at all. i have to start everything all over again.. without anyone help me in this.... i feel so helpless...
I'm so tired ....
Next day.. Thursday... i rush back to Kuala Lumpur. i meet with my Dad... then go have dinner together.. is has been a long time since i had my dinner with my dad. Indeed... it has been a very long time ago. then he fetch me to my aunty's place... i meet up with my 3rd brother and my mum. 3rd brother... it also a long time since i last saw him..
that night... i step into my aunt's house... they couldn't recogize me. they said that i have grow much thin than last time. i look more alike to my 2nd brother now... perhaps they are right...perhaps...
Time passed so fast... and the clock pointing 11pm... my mum and brother starting to get tired... brother still have to go to school the next day...so we left to Cheras...
2nd day just passed like that... i have done nothing but just had dinner with my Aunt , brother, mother at T.G.I Friday. Our dinner just so "cheap" RM183. So did on the 3rd day... again we took our dinner at 1Utama SuShi Groove, 3person without my brother, RM 170++. After that we stay over night at my aunt's new house. She said the new house actually is for his son / my cousin / a Docter Rate Lecturer in KL Inti. Since he is going to moved away with his wife to another place. So this house is for me during my time in University. Not a house actually, is a Condominium. my aunt bought it for about RM600K. God.. price of 1 Mercedes.
At KL.. there are no one who don't know Clinic Mediviron. The only clinic which has open more than 67 outlet until now, today.Even our 6th Prime Minister-Najib's maid and servant come to our clinic for medical treatment, this also include his own wife. For that , i am so proud when i'm was a kid, go to the main branch every weekend. Even now, all the accountant, all the staff, nurses know who am i. Even all the doctors know who am i. If they don't know, i just have to tell them :"I'm Ms.Lim's nephew." Any one learn about chinese drawing... will know of my father. If they don't know about my father, they don't really know much about chinese art.
In KL, i live with all the high status people, like i'm one of them. Everything i spent are more than just enough.
But, i live KL, my life is just like a prison. i have no freedom, even the shopping mall is just less than 2 km away... but i don't feel like i want to go there. I have no body but just my family and the newborn 10 month young little niece.
In Penang, the only high status person, is a MCA agent. Other than that, just 2 Navy Officers. I'm have nothing I do all the things alone. Even i stay with my eldest brother and 2nd brother, but .. i'm still alone. 2nd brother comes home once in a while. Left me n Big brother in this house. 1 house, 2 people, 2 different world. We seldom talks to each others. We don't really have much to talk about, thats why, i keep so silent everytime i go out. I live alone, i go to school alone, i eat alone, i sleep alone, i think alone, I WALK alone... like always...
Friends is with me all the time ... stay with me ..makes me happy, encourage me, cheer me, share anything with me, makes my life wonderful, colorful. I cannot live without friends by my side. As my world i'm living so cold... so alone in the winter.
In this big plant Earth... What a world... but there is only 1 world, 1 Me, in 1 Malaysia, 2 different state... there is different status in me:
A good living background in KL, nothing to worry, no worries on expensense, there will be driver for me wherever i wanna go. Every meal i gonna eat is more than RM60+. Every thing i wear is gonna be branded.
A life like hell in Penang. struggle to work... struggle to gain my own money... spend only RM5 for each meal... save more for any important usage... worry about almost everything.... feel so unsafe at all. i have to start everything all over again.. without anyone help me in this.... i feel so helpless...
I'm so tired ....
Sunday, November 1, 2009
~ 朋友 ~
什么是同班朋友？什么是好朋友？什么是废友？
同班朋友。。。在班上，有什么事情不妥的，一起解决；有什么好玩或好笑的，一起分享。。。在同一班里面，就如一个大家庭，不要像一团驾船的军人，互相吩咐对方做工。。。如果是那么样，同班来做什么？不如去加入兵团不是更好吗？
现在，中学都毕业了，各都走各的路了。有的做工，有的还读书，有的一面做工一面读书，有的半天吊，坐在家吹风，没有目标。 有的还和死党们见面，保持联络，有的，都不见人影了。
讲是讲毕业了，要保持联络哦。。。说得好听了。。连在二零零九年十月二十九号 ( 29/10/09) 结婚了，也不通知一下。。。不请也罢了，用电话写个短讯会死吗？
呸 ！ 在夜市场见到面，打个招呼也没有，ok...没关系，我跟你打招呼。。。
哇，见到就立刻转180度，走掉了。你厉害 ! 以后有事情别来找我们 ！
这种叫做废友 ！
好朋友咧？ 就刚好相反喔。毕业时，不说要联络。爽爽就打个电话来：“哈咯？冠循是吗？是啊？sorry,打错电话。”=.= 有时真的很废。但是有什么好东西，就召集死党一起分享。时不时，就找死党一起出来，谈谈最近的事情等等。找活动一起参与。
So ?! 你分得出以往在你身边的同班朋友，是废友，还是好朋友？
同班朋友。。。在班上，有什么事情不妥的，一起解决；有什么好玩或好笑的，一起分享。。。在同一班里面，就如一个大家庭，不要像一团驾船的军人，互相吩咐对方做工。。。如果是那么样，同班来做什么？不如去加入兵团不是更好吗？
现在，中学都毕业了，各都走各的路了。有的做工，有的还读书，有的一面做工一面读书，有的半天吊，坐在家吹风，没有目标。 有的还和死党们见面，保持联络，有的，都不见人影了。
讲是讲毕业了，要保持联络哦。。。说得好听了。。连在二零零九年十月二十九号 ( 29/10/09) 结婚了，也不通知一下。。。不请也罢了，用电话写个短讯会死吗？
呸 ！ 在夜市场见到面，打个招呼也没有，ok...没关系，我跟你打招呼。。。
哇，见到就立刻转180度，走掉了。你厉害 ! 以后有事情别来找我们 ！
这种叫做废友 ！
好朋友咧？ 就刚好相反喔。毕业时，不说要联络。爽爽就打个电话来：“哈咯？冠循是吗？是啊？sorry,打错电话。”=.= 有时真的很废。但是有什么好东西，就召集死党一起分享。时不时，就找死党一起出来，谈谈最近的事情等等。找活动一起参与。
So ?! 你分得出以往在你身边的同班朋友，是废友，还是好朋友？
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