~Start The Count - 126 Days Left ~

Today They ask me go for apartment-stay on 24/7 Saturday.

I so wish I can go. but i have to work-hard every single day. Every moment counts. I cannot loose my hand as the consequences is very terrible.

Even though they are right : Just come out for 1 day, that won't waste much of time right ?
We can only go out now or after 4 months (after STPM) .


yea.. indeed it won't hurt much to me.
But..

I really can't go out anymore. My mum said to me if i could not enter University... all hope is gone.. your family cannot afford you to study College. You are on your own.

If I couldn't enter Uni... I'm a nothing to all my relatives and friends. All my brother's result were top, and mine is the worst among them. My big brother was top, my second brother was top too. my third brother enter U.Just me...


I feel so hard...
don't know what to do. I wish I can go apartment stay with them but my mum insist me to stay.


You all have the very big chance to enter U already. Top in class... another 1 is half way already. Another 2 can afford themselves to overseas. I cant ! If i fail... I have no future anymore damn it....


I'm sorry....

~ Why ? ~

I moody.. really.... no body understand the reason when i told anyone of you.. so what for I telling you all the problem or share to you all ?
You just don't understand !

Now.. only 1 person who is totally understand why I'm so moody all the time. He meets the problem as well.. But just a small part similar to mine...

Really no one understand me... Why... ?

perhaps.. is me the one not understandable for you all....

~ Slap Me ! ! ~

If anyone here thinks that I have been so annoying or so moody... 

Well.. all you have to do .. is just raise up your hand.. then at all of your force.. Take a Big Slap on my face. I will not fight back. 

If I have been always like that.. well.. no need to call me out also.. Is good for all sides.. You all no need see my stupid face and i no need to show my ugly face to you all.. spoil your mood that day. 


Ok ?

~Busy Life Still on Going~

Hm... i wondering why... I'm so busy lately... I'm like.... every moment has its own purpose to spent.

My aunt was sick last week... i should be at KL last 2 week. But due to my greed of fun with my friend. I wasted my time here in Penang. 1 week time.

But when I get KL and meet with my aunt. I have 2 feelings come to me at the same time. First was, i feeling great as my aunt has already recover from her illness.. Second was my brother.
I just learn that my brother is an ASSHOLE. My aunt was sick, but he not just didn't help her clean the house but also pass all the ironing job to my aunt. She was sick ! God damn it !
Ironing the shirt, buy your own lunch, and going to work ... all these just simple things but he still insist my aunt to do all these for him.

A General Manager for the most popular Clinic Mediviron in the Entire KL is ironing all the shirts for a small tiny Human Resource Manager. All these make sense ??
Hope he will learn afterwards that my aunt will not going to help him do all these. because i tell my aunt to be so CRUEL. ^^
am i Cruel enough ? or i want to help him ? who knows ? Only i know ^^

~Relay for Life ~

Relay for Life

On 5th n 6th of June this event was.
Well.. I actually didn't plan to participate this event at all..
for GOD sake. Why would someone participate this boring event at the 1st day of your holiday. Would you ?

Well.. my very 1st thought is : No... I'm not going.. is for Cancer ... I'm not having cancer .there are not relation between me with cancer.

On the other hand. I rejected this thought.
My inner voice tells me: Yes.. even though it didn't related Directly to you, but to your surrounding and life. 
My 2nd grandma was a cancer patient and she died of the pain of cancer. I cannot imagine the pain inside my stomach. She died on 26/10/2007. I could still remember.
My good friend, Gabriel Seow was also a cancer patient- Blood Cancer.

He has been through a hard time but still he cannot make it through his birthday and Christmas.  He died 2 days after 2009 SUKMA finished.. He died after my competition was finish. 7/12/2009. I could still remember...

Thats the two reason why i participate Relay for Life.

My classmates join too. I also need to thank them for joining in as a same team.

These are my School and Classmates ~

Hope I'm still around when next Relay for Life is coming

~ Tormented SouL ~

There is no one can lend a hand;
          Not even my dearest friend.

It feels like my heart, been tear apart;
          It feels like nothing to hold, my shapeless soul.

Now I'm Lost, In the dark and chilling night;
        Many came across, but none was my Knight.

No Where for me to hide, not even the raising Tide;
       no way to avoid, away from this cold void.

My worry, still in my memory;
     no one hear my voice, amng all the noise.
        
But i know, that my soul , will be rescued one day
       When the Skies are brights and stars are array...

~ Haunted Once More ~

Oh ...no.. my heart... pain again... argh ....

The pain come back to haunt me.. why...?

Can't sleep well.. I only can rest my mind after few hours of pain in the cold, chilling night...like a man loses his heart in the sea.... Helpless... 

There will be no answer for this pain ... Only silence and void... be the answer for my torment ...

~End of Torment ,Begin of Joy~

Finally, here comes to the end of these 3 weeks of torment...

coming up would be my STPM Trail , well , don ask what i feel.. i just gonna asnwer : No comment.

Just lend Chee Yeap : Call of Duty 4 n 6.  haiz.. hope u can upgrade yourself in time la. haha

2 weeks of holiday.. is my time to release my stress again.. but not for long for sure as time do not allow me to do so.
Long rest leads to laziness and failure.. I cannot rest for too long.

Must keep my mind on guard all the time.



Yeah ! New Phone ! I got 2 phone with 1 same number...

Nokia 5800 and my SE K700. wo hoo.. i cant use them when ever i like .. ^^ keke.. lots of function than K700 for sure.
Lets get started !

~Sergeant ~

After all these years, i have finally reach the rank i wanna be. I have wait for so many years for these days. 

I have went to Pinang Federal Reserve Unit (FRU) to take my test. 


Thanks to my Commanding Officer Insp/K Cikgu Firdaus and Insp/K Cikgu Hanisha. 

Now.. I'm a Sergeant  Cadet already. 


What i have dream when i was Form 2 in 

ChungHwa has finally come true...

Even though is a bit late for me to be a Sergeant, but I'm quite satisfy with what i have now. 
I still have my duty to teach the others to be another Sergeant after me.

OoRah !

~~A Successful Gathering~~

8/5/2010 Saturday
Is been a long time since my form 5 classmates meet together. 5T1 gathing at 金火涡. 2 Years has pass since 2008 we in the same class, having fun together, playing together.

 Now.. everyone has their own path to go. Some Still studying, Some are already working , some are married, some are great cook... but no matter what.. we are like a big family.

Few cannot make it but i think they really wish they could come. Because we had so much fun last night.

James Lee,Rachel, Edwin, Chee Choong ,Ah Xu and Chin Yong

Billy, Chee Choong and the Girls

Brothers

Everyone, Happily yeah ^^

My gathering with them , makes me feel young again like 17 years old only. hehe..

When will the next gathering be?

~Almost~

Today talk with Laychia in school during MUET lessons.
I really feel disappointed with what she told me.

That moment i nearly drop my tears infront of her.

I'm stubborn... i admit my character...
But i really cant find a way to my problems.
Not that i don't want to be Happier... is i really don't have the mood for smile and laugh.
My mum ask me a question last night: You burrow the jacket from your brother... you buy your fencing set.. but end up you didn't even get to use them... you just wanna own them. Why?

Yea? You don't know why?
Ok.. i tell you why.. Cause i don't have anything left for myself !
You guys keep putting me into trouble and i have to sacrifice my time with my friends just to stay at home let you all lecture me for some stupid reasons? End up again you said is my fault to everything?
You can't even feed yourself with what you have learn and you said you actually can earn lots of money ? Come on... now i'm the one who bear the bill and everything not you! Everymonth ,that pervert useless father support me 300 and aunty 500 and after every expenses.... i only have RM15 left for a month...
You think i'm very satisfy with all these?

I feel totally useless and cant achieve anything when getting along with you all. My only place and activity that can motivate me is my sales partner and my police cadet .. they make me feel like i'm still useful and hopeful.
You just giving my hope away again and again. I know even that hope is just a illusion. Can you just let me live in my illusion and get myself motivated , get a hopeful life to live on, Can you?!

I almost cant breath anymore damn it... because of you ! I almost cannot take it anymore damn it! I never have any backup to support me. People said family support is the strongest.. do i see like i'm having any? I NEVER did ! NEVER HAVE any support from you all ! I'm on my own all the time ! I'm weakling now You understand ?!
I'm almost lost my mind and myself already...

Happy Birthday ,Lay Chia

Happy Birthday Laychia  !
Happy birthday to you.
Sorry last time during my birthday you cannot eat with me also.. now i wanna gather everyone to your birthday party as last time is you the one convince to go with them...end up with a bad ending.
I feel very guilty after that.

Now today is your birthday(supposely is yesterday 30/4/10) , Kugen ,Ah Yeap, KokWai, Yong Han, Sian Ping, Joo Tiew and I go to the "Don't Know Where" to eat steamboat. Very nice. Hope you and Kugen are able to dine in.
Sorry we are late, cause we went to fetch Ah Yeap and then manatahu... Traffic Jam... all the way before Union.

Hehe. Your birthday also same date with another friend of mine. but anyway, Wish you have a Happy Birthday Dinner with all of us today. Happy Birthday !

~March+Test+Interview = Sergeant ~

Today is 28/4/10... my 1st day going for police cadet test and interview.

So nervous.
I was studying for the past few days but to me... everything is like useless... cause i have a feeling that they are not going to ask such questions.

On the current day, wearing full-uniform to school, after that Cikgu Firdaus and i go Padang Tembak police Unit 3 FRU.

Sergeant Ismail give us a short brief that morning and then another ASP give us some short lesson before we can start our objective test. The test paper was prepared by JPNPP and PDRM ?! Walao...

After is the March and Command test.After i report to me officer incharge, i was punished for not cut my hair before this day. When my turn, i believe my sound is the loudest of all.  Heheh.
Aathi, another cadet member said i get 23/30 in the March and command part.
Surprising ? I don't know...

After that we all were worrying about the interview part.
Some other schools been ask for singing the Kadet polis song.
some been ask how to solve situation and so on.
Well.. our turn... the Tuan ASP Abdul Aziz bin Samsudin ask me 2 question only and me only they ask.
Q1: In which year that cadet polis MBS been organise?
Answer: Not sure.
Q2: Who is your jurulatih?
Answer : Don't know.

= = after that, he just lecture us, give us advice and express his disappointment of cadet MBS's attendance. After that he said ok .. can dismiss.End of interview..

What the ....? Thats all?

After we leave that room, Cikgu Hanisha said only 1 din't get any promotion, 3 others get Coperal and Shun get Sergeant.
Lol.. then the other one should get a Ribbon for attending, not?

So tired of today.
But at least now, I'm Sergeant Cadet. Like Sergeant Seng Jui, my idol in Cadet Polis when i enter cadet police in Form 1.

~ Ha Ha ha... haha? ~

hmm.. long time i haven't laugh.

Long time i haven't laugh happily.

Where are the laughters that i had during my form4 and form 5?

I miss those times...

But sadly ... time changes.... time changes every thing..

~A Strange Storm, Strange Prophecy , Terrible Future~

Today is 22/04/10

I saw a strange storm in the East Side...

I never see such a storm in my life before.

The clouds are few, but thunder strike every 0.5 second.

By refer back to what i have learn in High School, Thunder strike then will be follow by the sound.

But so many thunder strike down without and sound.

And yet Wei Chuan also discover thunder strike outside the heave cloud and there are no Heavy Wind Blowing at all.

This is not a natural phenomena at all. And suddenly a few drop of tears flow down my cheek.

He also said that some children in US have been discover talking at themselves with unknown language.

Research conclude that some message is given.

China will have the Most Terrible Drought ever around June.

No human can stand the heat and no human are capable to survive in that condition.

1/4 of China will be a wasteland after this.

Other than that, my brother's girlfriend has recording a short video clip.She said that night, she saw a dark round object below the moon without movement. It's like already enter the earth. She thought that was her blurry eyes but there was no mistake.So she taken down a picture. But after she call my brother, the round flying object was gone.

Prophecy said this time, human was extinguish by unbearable hot air. By this coming 9 month, earth will rises the temperature for 4'C.

By 2012 there will be around 12'C. After 2012 December. Mankind will suffer a winter like freeze due to lives that  lost.


My fear has grow stronger and stronger with each info i get.


So many things i haven't accomplish.

The Lord seems to abandon us for our sinful act all these century.
There is nothing we can do to save  mankind, as they are too arrogant to save the earth.