I'm Tired Already ~

I'm tired of struggle for everything...

I'm tired of fighting for somethings...

I'm tired of been trick....

I'm tired of falling in hopeless love...

I'm tired creating hope for my friends...

I'm tired of trusting everything , everyone...

I'm so tired....    of  Everything...

So wish i could find a place... lay down and rest forever... don't want to wake up anymore...

~ I Changed ... Did I ? ~

Last few days.. i went to Tar College to meet my NS friends...  afterwards .. i met with an old friend.. she still remember me, and i still remember her. ( this call got heart, still remember friend)


After some chit chat... my NS friend ask why don my old friend and chat anything ? She said that i have changed... different since last time we meet... i just keep quite...


I changed.... Am I ? Have I ? Did I ? I don't remember how i changed... Some said... i have changed to Silent, i seldom talk anymore... not like last time... Some said .. i wanna act cool, don't like to talk.... Some also said....  last time i got problems, i tell anyone, now i keep to myself...


Am i ?
I also don't know...

Fencing Competition~ Just Around the Corner !! Arh !!!

Suddenly i  feel so scare ....   I love fencing.. but i really don't know the reason why i scared... = =|||

I looking forward to compete in Foil... but they put me in Epee (heavy sword class).... oh god... i dont know i can handle it or not.. Because i only see people sparing in the Youtube... i never see the real sparing and training progress in the centre. Ee..... i'm so scared...

They have change the Venue and Date of competition. Last time, it was in Queensbay Mall on 2nd and 3rd of December. But now has changed to 5th and 6th of December, Saturday and Sunday. Venue... somewhere in Balik Pulau.. oh no.. please changed back to Queensbay, If you guys change it to Balik Pulau, many people feel it is too far away and won't come to support.... Please change back la...

1st of december i going to take my equipment and my sword  ^^  (of course , all these burrow from them)

Well guys... wish me luck ^^ ( i'm still so nervous)

Me... 1 person... 1 world... Different status....Alone

Wow... exam had just finish on 11/11/09. Chung Hwa Confucian just started to have theirs. hehe..

Next day.. Thursday... i rush back to Kuala Lumpur. i meet with my Dad... then go have dinner together.. is has been a long time since i had my dinner with my dad. Indeed... it has been a very long time ago. then he fetch me to my aunty's place... i meet up with my 3rd brother and my mum. 3rd brother... it also a long time since i last saw him..

that night... i step into my aunt's house... they couldn't recogize me. they said that i have grow much thin than last time. i look more alike to my 2nd brother now...  perhaps they are right...perhaps...

Time passed so fast... and the clock pointing 11pm... my mum and brother starting to get tired... brother still have to go to school the next day...so we left to Cheras...
2nd day just passed like that... i have done nothing but just had dinner with my Aunt , brother, mother at T.G.I Friday. Our dinner just so "cheap" RM183. So did on the 3rd day... again we took our dinner at 1Utama SuShi Groove, 3person without my brother, RM 170++. After that we stay over night at my aunt's new house. She said the new house actually is for his son /  my cousin / a Docter Rate Lecturer in KL Inti. Since he is going to moved away with his wife to another place. So this house is for me during my time in University. Not a house actually, is a Condominium. my aunt bought it for about RM600K. God.. price of 1 Mercedes.

At KL.. there are no one who don't know Clinic Mediviron. The only clinic which has open more than 67 outlet until now, today.Even our 6th Prime Minister-Najib's  maid and servant come to our clinic for medical treatment, this also include his own wife.  For that , i am so proud when i'm was a kid, go to the main branch every weekend. Even now, all the accountant, all the staff, nurses know who am i. Even all the doctors know who am i. If they don't know, i just have to tell them :"I'm Ms.Lim's nephew." Any one learn about chinese drawing... will know of my father. If they don't know about my father, they don't really know much about chinese art.

In KL, i live with all the high status people, like i'm one of them. Everything i spent are more than just enough.
But, i live KL, my life is just like a prison. i have no freedom, even the shopping mall is just less than 2 km away... but i don't feel like i want to go there. I have no body but just my family and the newborn 10 month young little niece.
In Penang, the only high status person, is a MCA agent. Other than that, just 2 Navy Officers. I'm have nothing I do all the things alone. Even i stay with my eldest brother and 2nd brother, but .. i'm still alone. 2nd brother comes home once in a while. Left me n Big brother in this house. 1 house, 2 people, 2 different world. We seldom talks to each others. We don't really have much to talk about, thats why, i keep so silent everytime i go out. I live alone, i go to school alone, i eat alone, i sleep alone, i think alone, I WALK alone... like always...

Friends is with me all the time ... stay with me ..makes me happy, encourage me, cheer me, share anything with me, makes my life wonderful, colorful. I cannot live without friends by my side. As my world i'm living so cold... so alone in the winter.

In this big plant Earth... What a world... but there is only 1 world, 1 Me, in 1 Malaysia, 2 different state... there is different status in me:
 A good living background in KL, nothing to worry, no worries on expensense, there will be driver for me wherever i wanna go. Every meal i gonna eat is more than RM60+. Every thing i wear is gonna be branded.

A life like hell in Penang. struggle to work... struggle to gain my own money...  spend only RM5 for each meal... save more for any important usage... worry about almost everything.... feel so unsafe at all. i have to start everything all over again.. without anyone help me in this.... i feel so helpless...

I'm so tired ....

~ 朋友 ~

什么是同班朋友？什么是好朋友？什么是废友？

同班朋友。。。在班上，有什么事情不妥的，一起解决；有什么好玩或好笑的，一起分享。。。在同一班里面，就如一个大家庭，不要像一团驾船的军人，互相吩咐对方做工。。。如果是那么样，同班来做什么？不如去加入兵团不是更好吗？

现在，中学都毕业了，各都走各的路了。有的做工，有的还读书，有的一面做工一面读书，有的半天吊，坐在家吹风，没有目标。 有的还和死党们见面，保持联络，有的，都不见人影了。

讲是讲毕业了，要保持联络哦。。。说得好听了。。连在二零零九年十月二十九号 ( 29/10/09) 结婚了，也不通知一下。。。不请也罢了，用电话写个短讯会死吗？
呸 ！ 在夜市场见到面，打个招呼也没有，ok...没关系，我跟你打招呼。。。
哇，见到就立刻转180度，走掉了。你厉害 ! 以后有事情别来找我们 ！
这种叫做废友 ！

好朋友咧？ 就刚好相反喔。毕业时，不说要联络。爽爽就打个电话来：“哈咯？冠循是吗？是啊？sorry,打错电话。”=.=  有时真的很废。但是有什么好东西，就召集死党一起分享。时不时，就找死党一起出来，谈谈最近的事情等等。找活动一起参与。

So ?! 你分得出以往在你身边的同班朋友，是废友，还是好朋友？

Wanna Cheat Me ?! Hmph !! !$@#%#!$

Walao...last few day... at night about 2237  10.37pm... suddenly a call come to my house phone

Phone: Hello, Is this Chong Kwang Shun ?
Me: Yes. I am.Who is this ?
Phone: Hello Mr Chong. i'm from Jabatan Pendidikan. I wanna confirm something. Is your I.C number : xxxxxx-xx-xxxx?
Me: Yea..
Phone: Is your Name spellling CHONG KWANG SHUN?
Me: yea...
Phone: Well.. Mr Chong, your IC number has been selected from our list to go to Foreign Country to furthur studies and the government will support all the expenses if you agree to go.
Me: ....(speechless)
Phone: So.. Which subject are you interest in ?
Me: er.... Psychology ?
Phone: Well  Mr. Chong, if u really interested, please bing along  (item item item ) on this Sunday at Complex Sukan dan Belia to meet us for the application.
Me: er... ok..
Phone: Mr. Chong. You are so lucky that u get 3As n 5 credits in SPM n now you are available to go to London to study.. By the way, here is my phone number : 019- xxxxxx( forget the number).I'm Encik Khai Ronin from Jabatan Pendidikan. Meet you on this Sunday ok?
 Me: ok...
 What of F**k? I can go to London ? THis SHIT is Ain't no joke  man !
i better go search for something more.
Next Day... Friday
i went back Chung Hwa COnfucian ( my secondary ^^)
i met with dicipline teacher: Mr. Ng.
i told him the whole thing. Then he told me all this is just a trick. If i really go on that Sunday... They sure get my picture n i'll get a Credit Card  Receipt by year end.
Walao! I better go report police.

Weird huh ? !
After i think again again  n again ...  I found out something totally weird .
How come a Government Agent would call you after 5pm? And especially at night? no body would go O.T till that late !
How would a Government Agent call you to meet him on a SUNDAY ?! That is public holiday man ! !
How come he give me his own personal hand phone number ? !

Any one who see this.. better go report 911 o ~

～人，变了～

为何人要变？不能保持着和以往一样吗？


为了要面子，他变了


为了要有钱，他变了


为了有权力，他变了


为了要快乐，他变了


为了要成熟，他变了




为什么人会变？ 变好的，我们替他开心。若相反的，变坏了呢？


人。。。就是不能和以往一样。时不时都会变。
人，可以为了自己,不顾别人 ，出卖自己的朋友 ；
也可以为了一个女生，不顾自己。


人类。。。可爱吗？还是可悲？

~oh shit~ 事情渐渐变了 T.T

糟糕了啦。。。拜一到拜三的课，令我一天比一天累。每天回家还得睡一下才可以。但是咧。。。最近，我一睡就睡到十点了。 Oh Shit ! 就这样往往连晚餐都免掉了。 haiz。。。叫我如何健身啊?!



人也好像变老了。。。 T.T  可恶！容易忘记东西了。做东西或读书都不能集中了。。。



朋友要搬家了... OH NO ! 我的好朋友 －子聪。 做什么要到KL 去？ 没办法在这里租另一间吗？？ 呜呜呜。。。



在MBS。。。刚刚上任大马学警队的主席，分数还不错。蛮高的 ^^ 60.，课外活动分数分到来就是差了2分就60了。SHIT.
最不满意的就是：Science and Maths ，我和国伟一起出席它的活动和开会，但是我的出席率比他少。为什么？ Why? Why You Do This? This Is No Right Man !
Bloody Hell !!
Bob 的也是一样。Economy 主席，出席率满，但是才27分。另一位的只是来报名后都没来了，却拿了60分，道理何在？ Shit You !

为何 Forsaken?

Forsaken 是什么意思？我就解释给你听吧。 Forsaken, 字典里的意思是 “抛弃”.
为何 “抛弃”？ 抛弃是一种对心灵上的伤害，也是一种力量。这股力量能使一个人失去自己，能让一个人失去自觉和感觉。 就像一个玻璃杯跌在地上那样。。。Piang !! 四散了，什么都没有了。
这里力量就刚好和“爱”的力量相反。

Knights... 也就是中古时期的－－骑士。

两个字合并 =   Knights of Forsaken。 > KoF <

没有自觉或恐惧地上战场，面对事情。尽力做到最好。只让对方或对手感到害怕，恐惧，恐慌。

放学后还加课～死了～ T-T

哇...很爽hoh? Raya 放假过了。

一回到校就要过些比在做兵更难受的日子了。

愚蠢的政府，没脑的教育局，要把今年的LOWER 6的上课时间拉长。废咯。
够STUPIAK。。

原本上课时间只是到1310或1345.现在拉长到1530。听说迟些还要再加两节课。没脑的咧。一天要上大概9到10个小时的课，谁不累？要学Australia喔。。。笨的做法。

别人有春夏秋冬的四季，你就只有一个雨季。别人或本地学院有一至两个小时的放吃，你连一个小时都没有。你们政府要吃钱，也别让我们读书的没时间吃饭啦。

放学后够累了，还要上课，人都在钓鱼了，身体黏黏，不舒服，天气又不是变冷了啦，又流汗。。。都没心情上课了啦。

人家还得花时间留在学校听她们在演讲，功课不用做了吗？不用读书时间了吗？
24小时－上课10小时－ 做东做西和吃饭上厕所2小时 － 睡觉7小时 = 4小时可以做墨？Form6功课很容易啊？容易就直接去大学了啦。做完功课也没时间温习啦。

死人鬼，教育部长，诅咒你性无能，孩子成绩一落千丈! ! 害我们中六。

22/09/09 National Service Gathering~

WOW! Happy lo today. i wake up on... ummm.. i think is 10.30am. wa.. quickly go bath liao lo.. then wear nice nice and go Gurney. Hei! today is gathering day , man!

I arrive at Gurney before 1230. not bad huh.  ^^  but i cannot see anyone else... they are not going to put aeroplane on me right?  Right ?

Who knows? I met with my old friend dring my primary times. Amazing. they are here. i really have to go greet them.

Then Zhe Yeong (Jimmy) call me , said he is in the parking lot, along with Ee Leong. wa ha... long time din't see  Ee Leong already... miss him...

Then i meet up with Soo Bee, Jimmy and Ee Leong.

Later then Swee Hoo and his friend and San San come food court and meet with us. He saw Jimmy but come ask me: " This one is Jimmy or Andy?"
Walau ! How dare you forget liao?! Si Lang Gui~ Cheh~

Then comes Jia Ping, Kim, and others come oso.. But 2 more haven't arrive. wanna make big dissicion oso cannot la...
Wait wait wait n wait... Long lo.. Jia Ping eat so slow nia.. Nevermind la. so long din meet with them.

Arrive infront of cinema, then comes Shi Jien , another friend and  the O.C. Charlie -Nigel.  Chances for O.C Alpha and O.C. Charlie sit 2gether is really hard to find.

wow. today really is a big gathering. so many people come around. We then go watch movie 2gether-Tsunami.4.50pm
But the time is still young, have to go around .. walk around, untill all gather outide of McDonald and all have ice-cream 2gether. i have take picture for that. but i haven't get that picture, yet.
then.. 4.30 lo, we go to cinema again. the movie...quite good, but not so good due to some stupid scene, romantic part become stupid part. But the ending is very touching. The most value part is where the tsunami started, but before that... boring.... ohhhhzzzz.

After we finish the movie, Nigel ,Shi Jien n another friend had to go back Sungai Petani already. haiz..so fast have to say bye-bye again. Drive carefully and  good luck brothers.

Jia Ping still stay... for dinner.. so is ah kim , Jun Fong, Ah Kim, Giselle. ok...
we take a innocent big round to reach New World Park. God.. waste my petrol...

Plan to eat by the road side, but then Soo Bee is going home and the road is so dark. Ah Kim n others worry about her so...
we all had to follow Soo Bee till her home. haha. what a joke. She also very paiseh.. so many people follow her home.
 Bo Huat la , who call us to be in same camp during NS time ar? haha. After we eat at a mini restaurant under Soo Bee's house, we all going home.

what a memorable day for us all 2day, 22/09/09. Hope you guys come again when next coming up gathering .^^

~ Selamat Hari Raya ~

马来同胞的 RAYA来了 ! 我忽然想起在National Service 时的那几个马来好兄弟。

MAT-我们都叫他 MAD. Mad man 的Mad.
haha. MAT, if you saw this please forgive me hah, cause i miss you and all the brothers alot. ^^

第一个马来人自动和我说话,也是马来人当中最好的那几个。
离别时最多华人朋友的马来兄弟。
Miss you alot... brother

Kem Beringin Beach Resort, Langkawi的Camp Commander-Lieutenant Commander Mohd Syafizul bin Mohd Razak.比我大14岁.他哦，大马皇家海军Tentera Laut Diraja Malaysia的Lt.Commd.。没有种族启示但是很凶的他，临走前真是哭了，我们也跟着哭了。如今还有和他联络的，可是不敢打扰他做工。想念他。。。

Ed- MAT的好兄弟，MAT走后哭到像女生。过后拿起我和MAT 拿的Alpha Ketua Platun 1.和MAT一样，拒绝吸烟，喝酒。还告诉我们吸烟会上瘾，千万别试。真够兄弟。临走前还说，华人真是没有与听到的那么坏，会很想念我们。这么好的兄弟，在哪里找啊？！

我干哥！Lt. Dya. Mohd Khairul Hafiz bin Mohd Afandi TLDM。帅咧 ？！全营最帅就是他了。很帮华人的马来同胞，才大我4岁。别看他傻傻的哦，会听华语，福建话，印度，阿拉伯语，泰语的哦。不可思议咧? 如今已是Kem Beringin Beach Resort, Langkawi 的营长了。很想他，联络他，可是常常没回复。HAIZ....

不管你们现在在何处，我祝你们Selamat Hari Raya !!

19/09/09 MBS Rovers Campfire-Flame of Myth

哇。。。残了！会不会迟到咧？ 6.43pm 了咧。。。
再不快一点就要迟到了！

哇，赶到学校才7.24pm。。。还好。
我和子聪说好在大门见面。过后我带他进去我的学校，MBS。 ^o^

才走不到几下，就听到人们一直在尖叫。妈的。。。算了。
我们给了RM16入门票，结果我们拿到 : 矿泉水一瓶，炒米粉一包，纸一张，别针一个...没了。

哇赛。。。一开始的那一幕很YENG ! 一根木，点燃火，一直滑着下，直到碰到木堆，立刻点燃了今天的营火，神话的火焰(Flame of Myth)，然后音乐就起了Survivor的主题曲。帅！

但是不知哪一班的扑街，一直叫一直叫，破坏气氛罢了。
过后，节目就开始了，跳舞啦, 唱歌啦，breakdance啦， hip hop 啦...还有很多啦。

有一间学校的Scout的队长，真的不能顶跟他啊。"七哥" 到半命啊！一旦有女生唱歌，就出去抱她啦，送她花啦，乘机牵她的手啦。 哟，不能看罢了，想拿臭鸡蛋丢他咯。连他的同校的朋友都不能顶他，
还说：“下水nia”（福建话）。 哈哈哈。笑死我和子聪了。

唷，几个节目能看罢了啦。MBS姐姐仔跳的舞，还好啦，因为有很多LengLui 嘛。haha.
讲笑啦。原因是她们的表演真的比其他学校好很多（不是我卖花赞花香）。breakdance太没有水准了，我也会跳啦...HIPHOP我都比他们好啦。YOR.....真是。。。看到都好笑.
连那个故事的表演，内容很废咯。我酱差的都能偏比她们好啦... =.="'
有几间学校的唱的歌还真的很好听咧，像 : "泪海"，"我知道"。

那晚，我和子聪竟然看到一个中五的朋友－佳琳
HEI ! ! ! !好久不见了 ! 就谈起另一个朋友－丽萍 要结婚的事。哇，因为男方的家人要她们快快结婚她们就结婚了。恐怖！18岁和男方大概27岁。 吓死人了！ 朋友一场也不跟我们说一声。 SUAK !
谈几谈就到11pm/ 2300 了.佳琳说要跑了...就...拜拜咯，希望会再见！

神话之火焰也就此结束了，颁奖部分我不打算看，过后也跑了。

真的够神话,连这样也能遇回朋友。

中学的朋友！我们是还有机会再见的！

Weird Thing Happens Again n Again !

Am i crazy already?
Something is talking to me in my heart and it was not my imagination !
Someone talking to me last time, i thought it was just my imagination, but this time...
It tells me when is going to rain... what time to go out, what time not to.

Sounds like my guardian angel tells me what to do !

Last time i was nervous about my financial income.
But it tells me: No need to worry, things will turn right when time comes.
I thought it is just to calm me down. But now.... things really come true.
wow. Amazing ! ! !

I gonn find out what is actually happening to me. And about the income.... i cannot tell you more, but i'm only gonna let you know, i'm not stealing, robbing, nor other activities that against the law. ( because i'm a good citizen ^o^)

After Holidays , Raya Holidays are Coming~

WaH... very fast lo... i remember just finish school holidays nia... now raya is just about the corner liao. Fast lo



At school quite syiok de leh... Since MBS is NOT a pure chinese school, so, everyday, each class lesson finish 5 minutes ealier.. Wuhuuu~

Song. every time dismiss on 1.10pm > 12.30pm, 1.45pm>1.10pm.

WOW~~~

FENCING~ i go to fencing training yesterday night. training on tat night is not compulsary. 2 weeks once, but i wanna go cannot ah?! Ma Go lo

i saw the guy represent Penang Fencing Team, Kenny . Not bad, still very cool and warm hearted as well. Face looks like 18 or 19 years old, but actually he's just 15. My GOD!!

Well, actually... wanna tell u something.. Shhhhhh... dont tell anyone. That night, my school's Fencing President, had a sparring with this Kenny. I have see through his tricks to win his opponent. i have make some research on his skills and the way he play his sword. hehehe ~
This makes me feel more confident to sparring with him when i got the chance.

HAR ! ! !
FENCING COMPETITION ON 2 , 3 DECEMBER 2009 ? ! !
my goodness T.T
Fencing Competition is coming on 2, 3 December this end of year! AhHhH~
Si liao. can i make it before the closing date? er.... hope so...

well i have to buy my own set of fencing equipment. is ok .. i think....

Well, hope u guys will come and support me ^^

Date: 2, 3 December 2009
Time: 1200- 2100/ 12.00pm -
Venue: Queensbay Mall (still not specific the place, maybe tat day only will know)

Come to support me O my FRENS~~~ ^o^

Are you ready, my Knights of Forsaken?