~Bye 2009 ; Hello 2010 ~ New Day Has Come ~

A new Day has come...
 Is already been a year... since my form5 life. Time just flow so fast, while we just move so little...

31 December 2008 i'm already in National Service Camp...
i had missed the chance to celebrate with everybody...
But this year... December 2009... i celebrate with my friends outside Queensbay Mall. That place is so crowded. But i love it >.<

A new Year to go... new wishes to make... new goals to achieve... new plan to make... new hope to everything ...

Come on Everybody... 2010 is another year for us . Lets go ~ !

~Time is Running Out ~

My time is almost over...
I still... have not make any decision ....

A decision which is so hard to make....
harder than go to National Service...
harder than decide to join army or not...

harder and harder when i think about everything around...

this sacrifice too big to make...

once i make any decision... 14 years of disappear from my friend.... from everyone...
is either soon or later...

i'm so F#%&ing depress and lost... 

~ 25 December 2009 , Merry Christmas ! ~

Ho Ho HO !! Merry Christmas !!!

 1st time

in these 18 years

on this world....

my friend ask me out for exchange Christmas Present...

What a joyful day ^^

Celebrate Christmas with my friends.

Lay Chia, Joo Tiew , Hui Ying and Zi Xian

Thank you for giving me such a good Chistmas... This is the 1st time i celebrate and 2nd time i receive present on Christmas...

Thank you guys..... Thanks

~ Lone Lone Time Ago~

想起过去的5年前，
外公，三个外婆，，妈妈，表哥，两个阿姨，四个兄弟，
一起坐在一个大大的吃饭桌，
华人新年,就是这样过的。

端午节，外婆会包粽子,冬至会搓汤圆，农历新年会大煮一场
一家人，坐着一起吃团圆饭。
那一种感觉，就如连神仙都无法可享受到的。

今天，2009年了，一个个老人家都走了。没有老人，阿姨们都不回来了，兄弟也开始失去联络了。福建人说：“四散了”

每逢新年，只能看着别人合家人热热闹闹地庆祝; 我却这样冷冷的自己过。

端午节。。。好想念外婆亲手包的粽子喔。

2009年8月起，除了经济上和爸爸要向妈妈讨，我一切都靠自己了。

一个人去上课，回到家还是一个人，自己洗衣烫衣，自己找东西吃.  .   .   自己为自己铺路。

好冷哦。。。一个人独行
好寂寞哦。。。一个人过生活
好闷哦。。。一个人没人陪

圣诞节来着了，难道又要一个人度过？

~你也累了。安息吧，Gabriel 萧汉杰～

今天，2009年12月9日，星期三，下午2.00 pm .... Gabriel在 Batu Gantung 火葬了。他脱离了痛苦，我们应该替他感到高兴。Blood Cancer...八个月...他和 Cancer战了八个月。有哪个人中了血癌还能支持那么久呢？

他从来没放弃过希望，他依然相信希望是还在的。我们这些朋友什么都不能做，只能在他身边陪伴他、支持他、鼓励他、给他希望。

最后，医生和他说，你没希望了。这个打击是如此的令人更快离开，失望， 绝望。 过后，他也支持不住了，离开了我们， 回到他“主”的地方去了。

虽然希望是很少，但他没有放弃过希望。难道我们还有资格说放弃吗？我们还有资格说失望吗？

~Brother Gabriel Seow Han Keat- R.I.P~

Our Beloved Brother  Gabriel Seow Han Keat has leave us and went to a better place today on  07/12/2009  , Monday Evening.

He was a Blood Cancer Patient since April 2009. I still remember that day... i was in KL Thursday.... My friend Chuah Wei Chuan ,called me: "hey when u coming back? Gabriel kena cancer !" I still doubt his word for a while.

After a while... i trusted him through his voice tone.. he was not joking at all...

Gabriel is a brave man...  he knew he had blood cancer But he never give up hope... I can see through his eyes... He still believed he can recover... as we all did. He has already battle with cancer for about 8 months. Normal people couldn't hold that long, 3 months would be a ending.

We tried our best to be at his side... no matter what happen.  But... busy of studies... .busy of working... busy of everything... pull us away from spending time with him...

Now... our beloved brother Gabriel Seow... has return to his Lord's side... he has free himself from illness and torture... he has escaped from this cruel world... to a better place... somewhere more joyful... somewhere much more beautiful... somewhere has no burden to bear...

He will not be alone anymore... he walks along with the Lord from now on...

As we , ourselves will know... he is still living in our memory.

~Rest in Peace Brother Gabriel~

I'm so sure.. none of you.. have ever attend a close friend's funeral...This is not a normal funeral we had attend before...

Appretiate everyone who is a Friend to you , while you can. Before it is too late to say goodbye.

~ Finally ... Victory need Sacrifices~

This Medal... Is not easy to earn...

Sacrifice is needed for Victory

~ Glorius Batlle ~

Today 5th December 2009 , Saturday.... fencing competition is held in Balik Pulau Dewan MPPP in time 1000... i depart from my home in 0830 and arrive in 0912. what a long journey along the mountain...


First part is the Women's Saber... then follow up by Men's Epee.. and finally Women's Foil...
Mine is Epee...


First round... i lost for a point... i'm too nervous... but i learn from my mistake... and i learn from my enemy... i see fear in their eyes... and i know... this is my chance to overcome them... courage fill inside me...
from that moment... many opponent had fall to my blade.


Second round.... eliminating others... so far... so good.. i never lose ever since the first round... Every battle ... i have inflict the fear inside them, make them feel weak, feel lost, feel helpless....even those haven't fight with me... i want to make them to fear me as they have fear from a demon...
This is the way of the Forsaken...

But... indeed... only 1 fencer don't feel that way.  Muhammad Abidin... i still remember the name...
He is the real enemy of mine in this battlefield... He is the one who caught my eye... he is strong... strong enough to conquer fear... i'm very impress with his confident.
We fight our way to the top. I meet with my first opponent who win me for the last time... but not this time brother... not this time...
Finally i really lost... under the blade of this Abidin... he is indeed stronger than me...


In the end, getting a Silver is better than nothing~
I have done my best. Honour and Glory are with me.
If you cannot be the best., at least don't be the worst.


This is the way of the Forsaken...

~ Sword to Sword~

Time have pass so quickly... month by month... week by week... day by day... the clock continues to tick.. time continue to flow...time won't wait for you.. unless u make it useful.

 i don't have much time left.... that day has finally come ... few more hours left... we going to draw our blade together... i'm sure... Nervous has filled in all of us.... like water in a bottle... but there is nothing i can do...
Deman MPPP, Balik Pulau-place we gonna test our skills and might... 

Let it begin.... draw out your swords, take up your shields, mount on your horses. Let the shinning armor of the Knights shine through the battle field, Horses charges through enemy lines....

Let our tomorrow be a glorius day to remember and a tale to tell...

Let it be....

I'm Tired Already ~

I'm tired of struggle for everything...

I'm tired of fighting for somethings...

I'm tired of been trick....

I'm tired of falling in hopeless love...

I'm tired creating hope for my friends...

I'm tired of trusting everything , everyone...

I'm so tired....    of  Everything...

So wish i could find a place... lay down and rest forever... don't want to wake up anymore...

~ I Changed ... Did I ? ~

Last few days.. i went to Tar College to meet my NS friends...  afterwards .. i met with an old friend.. she still remember me, and i still remember her. ( this call got heart, still remember friend)


After some chit chat... my NS friend ask why don my old friend and chat anything ? She said that i have changed... different since last time we meet... i just keep quite...


I changed.... Am I ? Have I ? Did I ? I don't remember how i changed... Some said... i have changed to Silent, i seldom talk anymore... not like last time... Some said .. i wanna act cool, don't like to talk.... Some also said....  last time i got problems, i tell anyone, now i keep to myself...


Am i ?
I also don't know...

Fencing Competition~ Just Around the Corner !! Arh !!!

Suddenly i  feel so scare ....   I love fencing.. but i really don't know the reason why i scared... = =|||

I looking forward to compete in Foil... but they put me in Epee (heavy sword class).... oh god... i dont know i can handle it or not.. Because i only see people sparing in the Youtube... i never see the real sparing and training progress in the centre. Ee..... i'm so scared...

They have change the Venue and Date of competition. Last time, it was in Queensbay Mall on 2nd and 3rd of December. But now has changed to 5th and 6th of December, Saturday and Sunday. Venue... somewhere in Balik Pulau.. oh no.. please changed back to Queensbay, If you guys change it to Balik Pulau, many people feel it is too far away and won't come to support.... Please change back la...

1st of december i going to take my equipment and my sword  ^^  (of course , all these burrow from them)

Well guys... wish me luck ^^ ( i'm still so nervous)

Me... 1 person... 1 world... Different status....Alone

Wow... exam had just finish on 11/11/09. Chung Hwa Confucian just started to have theirs. hehe..

Next day.. Thursday... i rush back to Kuala Lumpur. i meet with my Dad... then go have dinner together.. is has been a long time since i had my dinner with my dad. Indeed... it has been a very long time ago. then he fetch me to my aunty's place... i meet up with my 3rd brother and my mum. 3rd brother... it also a long time since i last saw him..

that night... i step into my aunt's house... they couldn't recogize me. they said that i have grow much thin than last time. i look more alike to my 2nd brother now...  perhaps they are right...perhaps...

Time passed so fast... and the clock pointing 11pm... my mum and brother starting to get tired... brother still have to go to school the next day...so we left to Cheras...
2nd day just passed like that... i have done nothing but just had dinner with my Aunt , brother, mother at T.G.I Friday. Our dinner just so "cheap" RM183. So did on the 3rd day... again we took our dinner at 1Utama SuShi Groove, 3person without my brother, RM 170++. After that we stay over night at my aunt's new house. She said the new house actually is for his son /  my cousin / a Docter Rate Lecturer in KL Inti. Since he is going to moved away with his wife to another place. So this house is for me during my time in University. Not a house actually, is a Condominium. my aunt bought it for about RM600K. God.. price of 1 Mercedes.

At KL.. there are no one who don't know Clinic Mediviron. The only clinic which has open more than 67 outlet until now, today.Even our 6th Prime Minister-Najib's  maid and servant come to our clinic for medical treatment, this also include his own wife.  For that , i am so proud when i'm was a kid, go to the main branch every weekend. Even now, all the accountant, all the staff, nurses know who am i. Even all the doctors know who am i. If they don't know, i just have to tell them :"I'm Ms.Lim's nephew." Any one learn about chinese drawing... will know of my father. If they don't know about my father, they don't really know much about chinese art.

In KL, i live with all the high status people, like i'm one of them. Everything i spent are more than just enough.
But, i live KL, my life is just like a prison. i have no freedom, even the shopping mall is just less than 2 km away... but i don't feel like i want to go there. I have no body but just my family and the newborn 10 month young little niece.
In Penang, the only high status person, is a MCA agent. Other than that, just 2 Navy Officers. I'm have nothing I do all the things alone. Even i stay with my eldest brother and 2nd brother, but .. i'm still alone. 2nd brother comes home once in a while. Left me n Big brother in this house. 1 house, 2 people, 2 different world. We seldom talks to each others. We don't really have much to talk about, thats why, i keep so silent everytime i go out. I live alone, i go to school alone, i eat alone, i sleep alone, i think alone, I WALK alone... like always...

Friends is with me all the time ... stay with me ..makes me happy, encourage me, cheer me, share anything with me, makes my life wonderful, colorful. I cannot live without friends by my side. As my world i'm living so cold... so alone in the winter.

In this big plant Earth... What a world... but there is only 1 world, 1 Me, in 1 Malaysia, 2 different state... there is different status in me:
 A good living background in KL, nothing to worry, no worries on expensense, there will be driver for me wherever i wanna go. Every meal i gonna eat is more than RM60+. Every thing i wear is gonna be branded.

A life like hell in Penang. struggle to work... struggle to gain my own money...  spend only RM5 for each meal... save more for any important usage... worry about almost everything.... feel so unsafe at all. i have to start everything all over again.. without anyone help me in this.... i feel so helpless...

I'm so tired ....

~ 朋友 ~

什么是同班朋友？什么是好朋友？什么是废友？

同班朋友。。。在班上，有什么事情不妥的，一起解决；有什么好玩或好笑的，一起分享。。。在同一班里面，就如一个大家庭，不要像一团驾船的军人，互相吩咐对方做工。。。如果是那么样，同班来做什么？不如去加入兵团不是更好吗？

现在，中学都毕业了，各都走各的路了。有的做工，有的还读书，有的一面做工一面读书，有的半天吊，坐在家吹风，没有目标。 有的还和死党们见面，保持联络，有的，都不见人影了。

讲是讲毕业了，要保持联络哦。。。说得好听了。。连在二零零九年十月二十九号 ( 29/10/09) 结婚了，也不通知一下。。。不请也罢了，用电话写个短讯会死吗？
呸 ！ 在夜市场见到面，打个招呼也没有，ok...没关系，我跟你打招呼。。。
哇，见到就立刻转180度，走掉了。你厉害 ! 以后有事情别来找我们 ！
这种叫做废友 ！

好朋友咧？ 就刚好相反喔。毕业时，不说要联络。爽爽就打个电话来：“哈咯？冠循是吗？是啊？sorry,打错电话。”=.=  有时真的很废。但是有什么好东西，就召集死党一起分享。时不时，就找死党一起出来，谈谈最近的事情等等。找活动一起参与。

So ?! 你分得出以往在你身边的同班朋友，是废友，还是好朋友？

Wanna Cheat Me ?! Hmph !! !$@#%#!$

Walao...last few day... at night about 2237  10.37pm... suddenly a call come to my house phone

Phone: Hello, Is this Chong Kwang Shun ?
Me: Yes. I am.Who is this ?
Phone: Hello Mr Chong. i'm from Jabatan Pendidikan. I wanna confirm something. Is your I.C number : xxxxxx-xx-xxxx?
Me: Yea..
Phone: Is your Name spellling CHONG KWANG SHUN?
Me: yea...
Phone: Well.. Mr Chong, your IC number has been selected from our list to go to Foreign Country to furthur studies and the government will support all the expenses if you agree to go.
Me: ....(speechless)
Phone: So.. Which subject are you interest in ?
Me: er.... Psychology ?
Phone: Well  Mr. Chong, if u really interested, please bing along  (item item item ) on this Sunday at Complex Sukan dan Belia to meet us for the application.
Me: er... ok..
Phone: Mr. Chong. You are so lucky that u get 3As n 5 credits in SPM n now you are available to go to London to study.. By the way, here is my phone number : 019- xxxxxx( forget the number).I'm Encik Khai Ronin from Jabatan Pendidikan. Meet you on this Sunday ok?
 Me: ok...
 What of F**k? I can go to London ? THis SHIT is Ain't no joke  man !
i better go search for something more.
Next Day... Friday
i went back Chung Hwa COnfucian ( my secondary ^^)
i met with dicipline teacher: Mr. Ng.
i told him the whole thing. Then he told me all this is just a trick. If i really go on that Sunday... They sure get my picture n i'll get a Credit Card  Receipt by year end.
Walao! I better go report police.

Weird huh ? !
After i think again again  n again ...  I found out something totally weird .
How come a Government Agent would call you after 5pm? And especially at night? no body would go O.T till that late !
How would a Government Agent call you to meet him on a SUNDAY ?! That is public holiday man ! !
How come he give me his own personal hand phone number ? !

Any one who see this.. better go report 911 o ~