~Time is Running Out ~

My time is almost over...
I still... have not make any decision ....

A decision which is so hard to make....
harder than go to National Service...
harder than decide to join army or not...

harder and harder when i think about everything around...

this sacrifice too big to make...

once i make any decision... 14 years of disappear from my friend.... from everyone...
is either soon or later...

i'm so F#%&ing depress and lost... 

~ 25 December 2009 , Merry Christmas ! ~

Ho Ho HO !! Merry Christmas !!!

 1st time

in these 18 years

on this world....

my friend ask me out for exchange Christmas Present...

What a joyful day ^^

Celebrate Christmas with my friends.

Lay Chia, Joo Tiew , Hui Ying and Zi Xian

Thank you for giving me such a good Chistmas... This is the 1st time i celebrate and 2nd time i receive present on Christmas...

Thank you guys..... Thanks

~ Lone Lone Time Ago~

想起过去的5年前，
外公，三个外婆，，妈妈，表哥，两个阿姨，四个兄弟，
一起坐在一个大大的吃饭桌，
华人新年,就是这样过的。

端午节，外婆会包粽子,冬至会搓汤圆，农历新年会大煮一场
一家人，坐着一起吃团圆饭。
那一种感觉，就如连神仙都无法可享受到的。

今天，2009年了，一个个老人家都走了。没有老人，阿姨们都不回来了，兄弟也开始失去联络了。福建人说：“四散了”

每逢新年，只能看着别人合家人热热闹闹地庆祝; 我却这样冷冷的自己过。

端午节。。。好想念外婆亲手包的粽子喔。

2009年8月起，除了经济上和爸爸要向妈妈讨，我一切都靠自己了。

一个人去上课，回到家还是一个人，自己洗衣烫衣，自己找东西吃.  .   .   自己为自己铺路。

好冷哦。。。一个人独行
好寂寞哦。。。一个人过生活
好闷哦。。。一个人没人陪

圣诞节来着了，难道又要一个人度过？

~你也累了。安息吧，Gabriel 萧汉杰～

今天，2009年12月9日，星期三，下午2.00 pm .... Gabriel在 Batu Gantung 火葬了。他脱离了痛苦，我们应该替他感到高兴。Blood Cancer...八个月...他和 Cancer战了八个月。有哪个人中了血癌还能支持那么久呢？

他从来没放弃过希望，他依然相信希望是还在的。我们这些朋友什么都不能做，只能在他身边陪伴他、支持他、鼓励他、给他希望。

最后，医生和他说，你没希望了。这个打击是如此的令人更快离开，失望， 绝望。 过后，他也支持不住了，离开了我们， 回到他“主”的地方去了。

虽然希望是很少，但他没有放弃过希望。难道我们还有资格说放弃吗？我们还有资格说失望吗？

~Brother Gabriel Seow Han Keat- R.I.P~

Our Beloved Brother  Gabriel Seow Han Keat has leave us and went to a better place today on  07/12/2009  , Monday Evening.

He was a Blood Cancer Patient since April 2009. I still remember that day... i was in KL Thursday.... My friend Chuah Wei Chuan ,called me: "hey when u coming back? Gabriel kena cancer !" I still doubt his word for a while.

After a while... i trusted him through his voice tone.. he was not joking at all...

Gabriel is a brave man...  he knew he had blood cancer But he never give up hope... I can see through his eyes... He still believed he can recover... as we all did. He has already battle with cancer for about 8 months. Normal people couldn't hold that long, 3 months would be a ending.

We tried our best to be at his side... no matter what happen.  But... busy of studies... .busy of working... busy of everything... pull us away from spending time with him...

Now... our beloved brother Gabriel Seow... has return to his Lord's side... he has free himself from illness and torture... he has escaped from this cruel world... to a better place... somewhere more joyful... somewhere much more beautiful... somewhere has no burden to bear...

He will not be alone anymore... he walks along with the Lord from now on...

As we , ourselves will know... he is still living in our memory.

~Rest in Peace Brother Gabriel~

I'm so sure.. none of you.. have ever attend a close friend's funeral...This is not a normal funeral we had attend before...

Appretiate everyone who is a Friend to you , while you can. Before it is too late to say goodbye.

~ Finally ... Victory need Sacrifices~

This Medal... Is not easy to earn...

Sacrifice is needed for Victory

~ Glorius Batlle ~

Today 5th December 2009 , Saturday.... fencing competition is held in Balik Pulau Dewan MPPP in time 1000... i depart from my home in 0830 and arrive in 0912. what a long journey along the mountain...


First part is the Women's Saber... then follow up by Men's Epee.. and finally Women's Foil...
Mine is Epee...


First round... i lost for a point... i'm too nervous... but i learn from my mistake... and i learn from my enemy... i see fear in their eyes... and i know... this is my chance to overcome them... courage fill inside me...
from that moment... many opponent had fall to my blade.


Second round.... eliminating others... so far... so good.. i never lose ever since the first round... Every battle ... i have inflict the fear inside them, make them feel weak, feel lost, feel helpless....even those haven't fight with me... i want to make them to fear me as they have fear from a demon...
This is the way of the Forsaken...

But... indeed... only 1 fencer don't feel that way.  Muhammad Abidin... i still remember the name...
He is the real enemy of mine in this battlefield... He is the one who caught my eye... he is strong... strong enough to conquer fear... i'm very impress with his confident.
We fight our way to the top. I meet with my first opponent who win me for the last time... but not this time brother... not this time...
Finally i really lost... under the blade of this Abidin... he is indeed stronger than me...


In the end, getting a Silver is better than nothing~
I have done my best. Honour and Glory are with me.
If you cannot be the best., at least don't be the worst.


This is the way of the Forsaken...

~ Sword to Sword~

Time have pass so quickly... month by month... week by week... day by day... the clock continues to tick.. time continue to flow...time won't wait for you.. unless u make it useful.

 i don't have much time left.... that day has finally come ... few more hours left... we going to draw our blade together... i'm sure... Nervous has filled in all of us.... like water in a bottle... but there is nothing i can do...
Deman MPPP, Balik Pulau-place we gonna test our skills and might... 

Let it begin.... draw out your swords, take up your shields, mount on your horses. Let the shinning armor of the Knights shine through the battle field, Horses charges through enemy lines....

Let our tomorrow be a glorius day to remember and a tale to tell...

Let it be....